For those of you who read my last blog post, “The Other Cat” you are familiar with Roxie. She is the one who does not have a book series. You know there are those among my friends who worry about Roxie’s self-esteem taking a hit due to ZuZu’s slow (very slow) rise to fame over the last few months. And you know that Roxie is in love with a cat named Maru ( a YouTube phenom). Well, as of last week, Roxie has been cut off from Maru videos for the next month or so. I’ve had to resort to this extreme measure because on Friday, Roxie tried (unsuccessfully) to kill me and get rid of her little sister in the process.
It all began on Tuesday after I posted the blog about her “quirky ways”. I read it to her and she strutted around the house like Cleopatra for the rest of the week. Little did I know that she was fiendishly plotting to become an only child in a single-parent home.
On Friday morning, Charley went off to play golf. She usually can calculate how long he will be gone, and just before he returns from his golf outings, she begins to gather up all of her toys and place them at the door. Then she sits waiting for him to arrive. So, she knew she had a few hours to carry out the steps of her clever little scheme.
Charley and I cannot ever say the word “Gazebo” around her even in the dead of winter because she becomes obsessively intent upon getting us to take her outside to the big screened house where she can safely watch the wildlife flitter about in the surrounding woods. The only thing that could top the experience would be if Maru were to appear outside the Big G (that’s what Charley and I have to call it around her) dressed in a soda carton with a brown bag on his head.
Step 2: convince me to take her out to the Big G by staring pitifully into my eyes and thwarting any attempt at my getting things done. This includes hand washing and teeth brushing.
Step 3: run away and hide just as I try to pick her up, so that I’ll take ZuZu outside first
Step 4: wait until ZuZu is in my arms and I’ve opened the door and stepped out
Step 5: leap from hiding place, run at my legs, trip me, causing me to fall off the steps into the garden below, dropping little ZuZu, and causing the frightened tabby to run underneath the shed in the backyard and hide
Step 8: look innocent and abandoned
Unfortunately for Roxie, I am extremely well cushioned and sustained only minor injuries. But ZuZu returned to her feral roots and refused to come out from under the shed. No amount of coaxing from Charley and me could bring her into the open. So, for that night and the next day, I sat on the porch keeping watch over the yard to make sure the fisher cat, the owls, the red-tailed hawks and the fox did not get her. It was a very damp night and I caught a cold which I am only just starting to get over.
ZuZu finally ventured out from under the shed on Saturday and I brought her inside, apologizing profusely. When I placed her on the kitchen floor, Roxie sauntered over to sniff her, hissed, and then strutted away. Apparently, she is not happy with me either, due to the fact I’ve been coughing since Sunday morning. She finds this incredibly annoying.
So, I’ve turned off the iPad and there will be no more Maru until further notice. However, Roxie seemed quite pleased to get another blog post dedicated to her. At this rate, it could eventually result in a book.