The Other Cat Is In the Dog House!

Posted on by Claremary P. Sweeney

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For those of you who read my last blog post, “The Other Cat” you are familiar with Roxie. She is the one who does not have a book series. You know there are those among my friends who worry about Roxie’s self-esteem taking a hit due to ZuZu’s slow (very slow) rise to fame over the last few months. And you know that Roxie is in love with a cat named Maru ( a YouTube phenom). Well, as of last week, Roxie has been cut off from Maru videos for the next month or so. I’ve had to resort to this extreme measure because on Friday, Roxie tried (unsuccessfully) to kill me and get rid of her little sister in the process.

It all began on Tuesday after I posted the blog about her “quirky ways”. I read it to her and she strutted around the house like Cleopatra for the rest of the week. Little did I know that she was fiendishly plotting to become an only child in a single-parent home.

On Friday morning, Charley went off to play golf. She usually can calculate how long he will be gone, and just before he returns from his golf outings, she begins to gather up all of her toys and place them at the door. Then she sits waiting for him to arrive. So, she knew she had a few hours to carry out the steps of her clever little scheme.

IMG_6814Step 1: follow me around the house whining and look out the window wistfully at the Gazebo.

Charley and I cannot ever say the word “Gazebo” around her even in the dead of winter because she becomes obsessively intent upon getting us to take her outside to the big screened house where she can safely watch the wildlife flitter about in the surrounding woods. The only thing that could top the experience would be if Maru were to appear outside the Big G (that’s what Charley and I have to call it around her) dressed in a soda carton with a brown bag on his head.

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Step 2: convince me to take her out to the Big G by staring pitifully into my eyes and thwarting any attempt at my getting things done. This includes hand washing and teeth brushing.

Step 3: run away and hide just as I try to pick her up, so that I’ll take ZuZu outside first

Step 4: wait until ZuZu is in my arms and I’ve opened the door and stepped out

Step 5: leap from hiding place, run at my legs, trip me, causing me to fall off the steps into the garden below, dropping little ZuZu, and causing the frightened tabby to run underneath the shed in the backyard and hide

Step 6: look innocentIMG_0115


Step 7: wait patiently at the door (with gifts) for her favorite parent to return home and discover the dead body in the garden

Step 8: look innocent and abandoned

Unfortunately for Roxie, I am extremely well cushioned and sustained only minor injuries. But ZuZu returned to her feral roots and refused to come out from under the shed. No amount of coaxing from Charley and me could bring her into the open. So, for that night and the next day, I sat on the porch keeping watch over the yard to make sure the fisher cat, the owls, the red-tailed hawks and the fox  did not get her. It was a very damp night and I caught a cold which I am only just starting to get over.

Baby ZuZu
Baby ZuZu

ZuZu finally ventured out from under the shed on Saturday and I brought her inside, apologizing profusely. When I placed her on the kitchen floor, Roxie sauntered over to sniff her, hissed, and then strutted away. Apparently, she is not happy with me either, due to the fact I’ve been coughing since Sunday morning. She finds this incredibly annoying.

So, I’ve turned off the iPad and there will be no more Maru until further notice. However, Roxie seemed quite pleased to get another blog post dedicated to her. At this rate, it could eventually result in a book.IMG_6824

 

 

 

 

37 thoughts on “The Other Cat Is In the Dog House!”

    1. No dead body this time, just a bruised, owner. Maybe she’ll succeed in her next attempt. But, Roxie did have a wonderful 24 hours as an only child. Now that ZuZu’s back inside, I’m sure she’ll figure out more mischief, but she has shown no remorse for her actions.

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    1. She’s trying to rewrite the story from her perspective. In the meantime, my cold developed into a terrible case of bronchitis. Charley’s been spooning cough syrup with codeine down my throat but I still sound like a whooping crane!
      Looking forward to spending time with you soon. Are you up for a winery or two? We’re running out. Clare

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    1. Actually, it’s true. I’ve been sick for a week, now. Roxie is the bane of my existence! But she is quite adorable, too! Right now she’s inn the window, trying to guilt me into taking her outside to the Big G, but I am not falling for it because I have work to catch up on. And other Blogs to visit, including yours. Clare

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      1. Please feel better soon. My best friend on LinkedIn has been sick, as well. Cat’s have a way of luring you into their world.

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    1. She’s been following me around today with a funny smirk on her face. I detect another plan being hatched. Charley, of course, thinks I have an over-active imagination. He says she’s a little angel! (She seems to like the kitty’s face on your blog. I caught her staring at it on my last visit.)

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  6. Roxie’s behavior is characteristic of a child who feels neglected because her sibling gets all the attention. I think this is also the reason why she spends so much time watching Maru’s videos. It’s called escapism. Humans in such situations, resort to other means such as alcohol. Her attempts to catch your attention too confirm that she’s suffering from a serious case of sibling rivalry. I think you must immediately start writing a book about Roxie. Also start giving her a bigger bowl of kibble and buy her a new litter-box. (Not for Human Eyes and hence in Catmese: Roxie, you’ve got supporters here, girl! Don’t worry, we’ll set Ms. Sweeney right!)

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    1. Dear Shafali, I heard my mother reading your comment to my dad and I’d like you to know I fully appreciate your support and that of anyone else who wants to see a book just about me. The little tabby has been soaking up all the attention with her cuteness for way too long and I realize now that it is my turn! As soon as I can get this laptop to myself, I’ll go to that place where you can get special petitions sent out. I’m not sure what I’ll say, but I’ll include a photo of me looking forlorn and pathetic. That’s sure to get me a few votes or at least some extra kibble soaked in beer, because, yes I’ll admit I have already resorted to other means of escape. (I particularly like nibbling on beer-soaked kibble while watching Maru videos!) Thank you for encouraging me to make this change in my attention-deprived cat life. It was just the motivation I needed!

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      1. Dear Shafali, My Mom and Dad are away for the weekend. I know because the purple suitcase was on the bed and I tried to sneak into it. The little, cutesy cat kept sniffing around and gave me away! I’ve turned on the computer to check out that monkey’s survey thing now (when did monkeys get that smart?), but first I’ve got to find a photo of me to post for International Cat Day – before it’s over! I’ll be in touch soon, Love Roxie (The One and Only Cat)

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  9. Ah, this story has a familiar ring. Last summer my less-favored cat escaped from her carrier on the way to the vets and spent three days under a baseball dugout nearby. Her eventual recapture was accomplished with a Have-a-Heart trap but not before she picked up … fleas. Not a happy event for any of us. And, less-favored-cat also being a former feral became … distrustful? It is with enjoyment and empathy I read your story.

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    1. Yes, ZuZu was born under a barn and reverts back to feral whenever she gets frightened. No matter how much I hug and cuddle her.I keep checking for fleas or worse, ticks, but she seems ok. Although. she keeps closing her left eye like something’s wrong. She did this once before when I had retina surgery, so I’m not sure what she is being empathetic about this time????

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  10. Glad you are feeling a little better, and glad you were not hurt worse! Thank God for that extra cushioning! Our cat Marshmellow was notorious for getting out in front of us and then laying down in our path, usually when we were carrying groceries! When he died a few months ago, we consoled ourselves with the fact, it wasn’t because one of us tripped over him, fell and squashed him!

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    1. I’ll bet it was hard to even think of replacing Marshmallow. Pets can be pains in the butt, sometimes, but leave such a dent in our lives when no longer there; even if just to trip over. I’m much better. Not so black and blue, hacking cough abated. But Roxie is driving me crazy. Someone put a bee in her bonnet that it’s International Cat Day and she is insisting on getting a photo posted. I never should have written those two posts about her!

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  11. Well she certainly did catapult you down those steps…it could have been catastrophic!! Seriously, I’m glad you did not get too hurt…poor ZuZu…Roxie Dammit probably snickered all night long, with her tail slowly flapping up and down in utter content that she had the whole place to herself!! 🙂

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    1. I had to sit out on the porch for three nights trying to get ZuZu to come out from under the shed so she wouldn’t be eaten by some animal strolling in from the wild life sanctuary across the road. I ended up with bronchitis! Roxie had Charley’s lap all to herself. Oh, and she’s HIS cat whenever she does something wrong – which is most of the time.

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      1. Aw poor ZuZu, what a great Mom you are. I would have been afraid for her too. I can just hear Roxie snickering now…while nuzzled up to Charley!! 🙂

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