Roxie aka The Other Cat – Delusions of Grandeur

IMG_3343Hi!  Roxie here with the latest update on me and my world. Things are much more organized around the house now that the kitchen is painted and everything has been put back in place. It was really annoying to have to knock off  reposition  things stacked on the counters and dining roomIMG_7953 table in order to get the best vantage point for supervising all the unpacking  and  the cleaning and the painting. I managed to settle in for a while until Mom yelled “Roxie, Dammit, get out of that cupboard!”

Sometimes I get the feeling my special talents and valuable input go totally unappreciated around here.

Just the other day I was examining the angels displayed on the mantle. I noticed something kind of creepy – they had no faces! No eyes, no noses, no mouths! Now, I ask you, who would give someone an unfinished gift? So, I figured I’d remedy the situation.

I placed one of them on the floor. It wasn’t put together very well. I decided to give the poor thing some eyes and went in search of a magic marker.  A while later I heard imageMom hollering “Roxie, Dammit!”  I came running and found her standing there, hands on hips, looking at me, looking at the headless, faceless angel; looking back at me; looking back at the angel. It must have just dawned on her that someone had given her defective angels. I gave her my best “I feel your pain” face. To my utter amazement, the following words came out of her mouth: “Did you do this?” I was speechless! Meeeyute! I would never give her an unfinished gift. Why, every mouse head I’ve ever dropped at her feet had the eyes still in its head; the garter snake I found her a few weeks ago – still warm and wriggling! Every fur ball I’ve ever hacked up for that woman is a completely selfless work of art. Her behavior was totally unacceptable. I left the room in disgust. Let her come find me when she was ready to apologize.

While I was waiting, ZuZu showed up. She wanted to play. Under the circumstances, I was not in the mood. Yet, she persisted. So, I relented and taught her a new game, whack-a-cat   patty-cake. She was terrible at it and ran to the dining room to sulk.

A little while later I heard Mom calling, “Roxie, Dammit”, and went to graciously accept her apology. I have an incredibly forgiving nature. You need to in a place like this. I found her comforting Little Snookums who was putting on quite an act. “Roxie, Dammit, have you been poking ZuZu in the eye again?” Now, I ask you, what kind of question is that? Why does that woman immediately jump to the conclusion I’m the cause of every catastrophe ?” If I were an alpaca, I’d have spit! Her “iddy biddy baby kiddy” easily could have bumped into  the edge of the coffee table. I’d love to tell her, “Get the whiner an eye patch and she can pretend she’s a pirate!”  Besides, the child  has two eyes, doesn’t she? Not like those poor angels on the mantle. Where are the priorities around this house?

Last night, I overheard Mom talking to Dad about her latest ZuZu story,  ZuZu Solves a Mystery. Now, the real mystery to me is how that girl survived under a barn before Mom came along. Then the conversation got interesting. They started talking about what title I’d choose for my life story. Mom said, with my cattitude,  anything with “Great” or “Magnificent” in the title would work.  Sounded fine to me until she suggested The Great Catsby,  Great False Expectations, The Greatest Cat Story Ever Told,  Magnificent Obstruction. She has a real sarcastic edge to her. And does she really think I’d use a recycled title? Dad said I’d probably just prefer to have my name on the cover in the largest font possible. That man can read my mind. We’re Kindred IMG_6824Spirits. He’s awesomely brilliant!

If I can convince Mom to take a break from the ZuZu Stories and the South County Mystery that seems to be taking her forever to write, I could get at the computer. My autobiography is destined for greatness. I’ve already designed the cover – my gorgeous face on a simple background with my name in shades of gray. Awesome, if I do say so myself!

ROXIE aka THE OTHER CAT

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BY ROXIE DAMMIT

Look out world! New York Times Bestseller List, make room at the top ‘cuz here I am!

 

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79 thoughts on “Roxie aka The Other Cat – Delusions of Grandeur

      1. Charley thinks it got into the heating vents and went down to the cellar. I’ll probably find out when I go down there to take out the Christmas decorations! Lately, I think Roxie’s antics are getting worse every day. Do you think she senses I’m writing about her?

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    1. Thank you, Lydia. I have decided to make you President of my Fan Club. You are always there with an encouraging word for me and I appreciate that. (Please send any dues you collect from the members in the form of kitty treats and make sure only my name is on the package, please.)

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      1. Awh, thank you, Roxie!! 😀 It’s an honor to be President of your Fan Club. 🙂 I will definitely send all dues in the form of kitty treats, and I would never dream of putting Zuzu’s name on them!! No worries. 🙂

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      2. Of course! All right, adding hotdogs and hamburgers to the list as well! (how about tuna too?) I’m sure S.A.Nelson would love to send you some stuff, he’s already in the Fan Club! 😉
        Your new best friend, Lydia Renee 🙂

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      3. A few weeks ago I found the emoji secret hiding place under “Edit” in the Menu at the top of my laptop screen.
        It’s like I discovered a box of chocolates! I’ve been using them all over the place and can’t seem to control myself.
        Have a great week! 💙🎹🎸💙

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Dear Agnes Violet, thanks for dropping by and commenting on my latest exploits. I enjoyed your newest post particularly the gory details of James Scott’s bloody demise. I myself have seen heads roll this week and can empathize with the poor executioner who was just doing his job. Your friend, Roxie Dammit

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    1. Thank you, Just found this as I was doing some blog review and felt bad about missing it. Not sure how that happened because I’m pretty careful about getting back to people, but a belated heartfelt thank you from both me and Roxie. Will visit you now….Clare

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    1. Thank you, Robyn. Roxie has a very different voice than that of innocent ZuZu in A Berkshire Tale. But they are both children’s voices, saying and doing what children do. I enjoy writing each of their stories and am happy you stop by to listen to Roxie’s slanted view of her world.

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      1. Thank you again Robyn. I’m working on a mystery story set here in my home town. It took me 5 beginnings to get the voice right. In my mind it’s like listening to the music that sets the mood. I’ve been visiting you this morning and enjoying your writings. I’m on my IPad but if I were using my laptop, I’d send you a gardenia emoji. Clare

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      2. Sounds intriguing. Wish we lived closer. We would have much to talk about. I’m 27000 words into an ms, also something of a mystery- certainly to me at this point. Time away has given me a new perspective on my story though. It’s late here so I’m off to bed. Thank you for the gardenia thought. : )

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      3. And It’s 6AM here, so I will be getting up soon. Yes, it would be nice to live closer and talk of our latest writings and maybe I take a bike ride. But visiting your blog is a way to share ideas and thoughts, so I will continue to stop by in the early morning hours. Sleep well.

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    1. Melinda, You are my new best friend! (Along with Lydia,the President of my soon-to-be when I’m finally published fan club.) The other positions are open, though and since you are very organized, I’m thinking VP in charge of contracts and scheduling my signing events. I really love purple, so I know this could be the start of a great team. Your newest best friend, Roxie Dammit

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    1. Oh, she loves this title and the word “autocatography”. She’s thinking of it as a subtitle, although she’s afraid it may take up space on the page that could be used for her picture. Unfortunately, Gail, these incidents really happen around here. Hard to believe she’s 9-years old! She keeps us jumping

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  1. I love this post! It’s so nice to have a piece from Roxie’s vp. She does sound incredibly accident prone, but its more likely to be down to her inately inquisitive nature. And, after all, she brings you such wonderful gifts. 🙂 Both cats look really adorable – and such good writers, too. 🙂

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    1. Thanks,, from Roxie and me, too.There are a few more Roxie posts due to the fact that bloggers read my biography and commented on the fact that ZuZu had a book but Roxie didn’t. I wrote to appease them and the aka The Other Cat caught on.These posts could easily end up as another book. Roxie is thrilled!

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  2. Oh Roxie, I feel your pain! We get given half-chewed mice (presumably for easier digestion) carefully left in the bath (for easy cleaning). And any number of skink’s tales, sometimes still wriggling. There was one once that got wrapped around a table’s claw foot that we didn’t see until the smell began to, um, stink. Cats are so generous and under-appreciated!

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  3. I was absolutely charmed by this story, and will be reading more! I love kitties, and all captivating furry cat’s tales, and will share yours with other feline-loving friends as well. I’m so glad you found my blog, so I could discover you!

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    1. Martta, I’m so glad you came for a visit. The Roxie series began because other bloggers who read my author’s notes began to inquire about “the other cat” Roxie. They wanted to know why ZuZu had her own book A Berkshire Tale composed of 10 stories, and poor Roxie had nothing. So, Roxie began to tell her tale of woe and has written quite a few posts. She is trying very hard to drum up support to have a book published all about her. Right now she is sitting in my lap waiting for me to either let her write a post or put some YouTube Cat videos on the screen for her entertainment. She adores cat videos especially those featuring Maru.She sends her best to you and hopes you do return often. We’ll be visiting your blog later this evening. Thank you, Clare

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  4. Dear Roxie,

    My mom has a couple of those angels and a set of grand parents with kids…NONE of them has eyes. She puts them on the mantle, too! You’re right…our people are kind of sad…or crazy to want unfinished figurines. She does have a German Shepherd angel her friends gave her when Mom’s last dog crossed something called the rainbow bridge….it has eyes and ears though. Anyway, I’m sorry your Mom get mad at you sometimes….maybe you shouldn’t play with Zuzu…she sounds like a tattletale and trouble maker. Maybe…I could send you one of my toys to play with instead of the angels or Zuzu. Do you like thinks that squeak? Tessa

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Dearest Tessa, Funny you should mention that because ZuZu squeaks when I try to pull out her fur, (She has way too much fur!) bringing Mom running to see what’s wrong with her Little Snookums. Sometimes she squeaks just to get me in trouble. But thank you for the generous offer.
      Mom gave up and put the eyeless, now headless and armless angels away. She told Dad she was running out of glue. The rabbits are all back in the cellar doing their “thing” in the big purple box. Most surfaces around the house are now clear and I have more places to perch. I hate clutter! Take care and have a great week. Your Fiend, Roxie D

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  5. LOL!!! I was going to ask you if Dammit was her middle name! You know how you knew you were in trouble when your mother used your middle name too…uh oh! I laughed right out loud several times…whack-a-cat!!! These stories are a riot…you definitely have more book material here…they are so fun to read…I could keep reading escapade after escapade!!! Keep it up Roxie Dammit!!! 🙂

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    1. If I could find a good illustrator, I think I would develop some of these into a book. One of the benefits of writing a blog regularly is that these unexpected things happen – you are doing a post and it could eventually turn into fodder for a book. Right now she is sitting next to me in bed as I try to get some final photos for tomorrow’s post. She keeps hitting the keyboard because she wants me to put on cat videos for her!

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      1. I just laughed right out loud…what a character!! Don’t you just love an animal’s personality? Truth be told I’m a dog lover myself…you can see what their mind is thinking through their eyes…they’re amazing….although sometimes I do wonder…what is going through the head as they are running around the back yard at 90 mph…my dog has passed many years ago now…but as soon as I retire I’m getting another one. Now go play her cat videos won’t you?! hee hee 🙂

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      2. I love dogs, too and would have at least two if we didn’t travel so much. Cats are much easier to leave alone although Roxie doesn’t take very well to being stuck at home babysitting for ZuZu! Definitely get another pup when you retire. So much loyalty and goofiness rolled into a furry bundle.

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      3. Oh you are so right about that…you can’t leave a dog like you can a cat. Yes I definitely will and am looking forward to it. Goofy is a perfect word to describe a dog…guess that’s why I love them…just a couple of goofballs!! 🙂

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