Roxie D. here! Winter has arrived in South County. On February 9th we got our first big snow storm and it made me feel happy that I was inside, warm and safe in my new special room. Mom is calling it “her office”, but I know she and Dad spent all that time putting it together so I would have a place of my very own, to think creative thoughts, write these posts and, of course, view cat videos to my heart’s content.
Mom is here a lot to keep me company and Dad comes in to sit and read. I’ve been trying to make it a ZuZu-Free Zone, but sometimes she gets in past the guards. I may have to resort to building a wall, but I’ll need to figure out how to finance it.
You see, unlike me, ZuZu was born in a barn. That means she’s a feral. Feral cats are wild and dangerous by nature. I don’t think she should even be allowed inside the house, let alone, in my special room. I’ve tried to get Mom to see the light and send her sweetie, darling, cutie pie back where she came from even though I don’t think the little fur ball would last a week under that barn. But that’s not my problem. Life is tough and we can’t all be born in a warm, safe home, can we?
Mom has taken to calling me “The Resident Sociopath”. I’m not sure what she means by that but at least she’s not yet insinuated that I’m a “Malignant Narcissist”. She’s been yelling that out a lot lately whenever the orange-faced guy is on our television screen. He’s not there for long, because she usually tunes it to another channel. Which reminds me about this Nature 5-part Series we’ve been watching on PBS called “Spy in the Wild“.
It appears that people are making little animatronics cameras disguised as animals and placing them in the wild to spy on real animals. So far there’s been a Spy Macaw, a Spy Sloth, a Spy Bushbaby, a Spy Squirrel, a Spy Tortoise, a Spy Orangutan and a Spy Hippo! I can’t decide which one I liked the most although the Bushbaby was really cool because the monkeys couldn’t figure out how to get it out of the log to eat it. ZuZu liked the one with the Spy termite hill because it involved chimps eating bugs. She loves bugs! Ugh! And Mom liked the prairie dogs because they kissed. Yuk!
The original series was on the BBC and narrated by David Tennant (You know him- Dr. Who #10). I guess when they brought it to PBS, they thought Americans wouldn’t be able to understand a real British accent, so they didn’t use his voice. “Pip, Pip, Cherio, Old Chap. Could you pour me a cuppa, Dearie?” and “Bob’s yer Uncle! Where’s yer loo, Duckie?” (We watch a lot of English comedy and mystery series around here. The Brits tend to be dog enthusiasts and so, it’s not exactly my cuppa tea.)
I would love to plant a lens in the middle of ZuZu’s forehead and send her out into the wild.
But I digress.
Well, here we are in my office, safe from the outside elements and I’m helping mom with her blog post and thinking about what I can share with my fan club. I was watching a video of my favorite cat, Maru, and it occurred to me that he gets himself into some really tight spots.
I find myself sitting by the computer, talking to him; explaining how he needs to get himself an advisor who’ll counsel him to make better decisions. I know he can’t hear me, but it makes me feel a bit better about the whole situation. Kind of like when Mom is offering her advice to the orange-faced man on tv, only without the howling, the hair pulling and the gnashing of teeth. Sometimes Dad puts his hands over my ears because, in case you’re not aware, THAT WOMAN HAS QUITE AN EXTENSIVE VOCABULARY ! (And not the words you can use in public.)
I just had a brilliant thought: What if I asked some of my many fan club followers what they’d like to hear about? I’m a vast store of knowledge and always willing to share my opinions. If there’s anything you might like me to explain to you, please feel free to write a comment. Jungian Philosophy, Hairball Remedies, Human Frailties, Catnip Addiction, Self-Absorption, Famous Authors, Literary Quotes and of course, Cat Videos are some of my specialties. Remember – I’m always here for you!
Late breaking news! Mom is decorating my office. She brought in artwork just for me!
I love what she’s doing with the place. Who says you can’t get good help now-a-days?
Now, I must have some alone time. Your presence is no longer needed. Have a great week!
Oh it’s been too long since I’ve visited!! I’ve missed you Roxie. Yes we did get a few storms in the last couple of weeks, you’re so lucky your Mom created this room for you. You sure are lucky! I had not heard about that series on PBS but it’s sounds fascinating, I plan on checking it out!! Well try to be nice to ZuZu if you can, after all you are of higher intelligence, what with her being a feral and all!! Have a purrfect week ahead! 🙂
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Thank you, Deb. And I’ve missed you, too. I will visit tonight. I do try hard with the little fur ball but she tries my patience with her whining and if I got paid minimum wage for all the times I got stuck babysitting for her, I could afford that wall I mentioned. I’m glad you like the animal series. It’s almost as good as my friend Maru’s videos. Take care and don’t be a stranger. Your good friend, Roxie D.
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I know Roxie, we all have our burdens to bear! 😉 But what would you do all day if you didn’t have her to harass…it might just get boring!! I’ll have to watch some of Maru’s videos too. Time for some catnip? Have fun today with whatever you do. 🙂
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Maru is amazing and I want to marry him! Mom hid my catnip banana last week because she told Dad I was crazy enough without drugs!
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Lol! I don’t know, is there ever “crazy enough”? 😉
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😼😽😾🙀
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So glad you now have a room of your own, Roxie, even if unwelcome guests sometimes come in. Perhaps you could make Zuzu pay for the wall?
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I thought the same thing, but she spends all her allowance on kitty treats in the winter when there aren’t any bugs to munch. UGH! Maybe when the bugs come out in the spring, I can get her to give to the fund-me page that I’m working on as we speak! She has sort of “donated” some of her favorite toys and I’m selling them on Craig’s List. All I know is, I’m not paying for it! Thanks, for your support and tell Gib I’ll be by later.
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What a wonderful view of life you have, Roxie. Enjoy the wonderful room your generous parents have created just for you! 😉
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Yvette, I am having the most marvelous time languishing on my desk. It’s much better than the dining room table. And when Mom is working on her writing I can help edit just by lying across the keyboard. Now, if she would just give me the editor’s salary I deserve, I can build that wall.
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Go ZuZu!
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What a wonderful post! 🙂 And the last line – just brilliant! Absolutely typical cat behavior! 😉
Love how Roxie tries to build a wall to keep the feral out 😉 And as for cat videos – I could watch them for hours (and often do 😉 )! Thanks for the link to the show, though I´ll see if I can find the one with David Tennant doing the voice over – he´s a great actor! Loved his Hamlet and Broadchurch!
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Roxie rules and reigns around here. We’ve given up and let her run the show. The only time we can get her to sit still is when we turn on Maru videos. Also, she has taken a liking to Spy in the Wild. We’re always looking for something to entertain her so we can catch a few minutes to cat nap.
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Haha! What a dictator!..eh, President!..eh, cat! 😉
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Sociopathic Tyrant 😾
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The worst of all 😂
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So wonderfully depicted. What talent! Our smiles are embedded on our faces reading and seeing. Thank you.
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Oh Roxie, my love!! It’s so good to see you!! I have tons of things I need you to expound upon!!
The Furball Remedies definitely are needed!! And Human Frailties, Catnip Addiction, Self-Absorption all sound as if they’re needed as well!! Is the self Absorption seminar how to do it better? CUz I could use some tutoring, I’m sure.
The Keep Out signs are such a good idea. But, good thing you put the pix one! After all, as a feral, who would have taught her to read?? I’m quite sure she is not nearly as well educated as you, my Queen!
And thank Goodness Mom finally realized your elite status!! Bout time, I’d say!
Oh yes, Dreamy Dr Who!! Too bad I don’t have cable… And now I no longer have internet at home, since they raised the price. Boo!!! You might have to advise me about how to start a go-fund me page for my internet bill!!
So, if you don’t hear from me for a while, I’ll be curled up in MY bed, penning you a snail mail letter!
Love, Your Prez, Melinda
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Dearest Prez- I’m glad you liked my amazing art work. I want Mom to take them to a framers now that she’s ripped them off the door. That way I could hang those masterpieces in my office. No internet! Yikes, how will you blog?!!!!
I await your snail mail. ZuZu ate a slimy, slug once, that had come out of its shell. She’s a little savage!!!!! Love, Roxie D.
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Oh Roxie, of course she should frame them!! They are Roxie D originals!! Sure to increase in value!
I know, I know!! Thank God for SF!! I have a key to his computer room, so I come over when he’s at work, as long as I don’t have the girls. But, I am having DTs from withdrawal already!!
She is a definitely a barbarian!!
Love, Me
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You can start an entry tax. Then everyone will pay for the wall. Of course Zulu will reimburse……some day.
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A tax! Of course! But then the price of kibbles will go up and I could starve! And I already have to share my meager daily allotment of food with the little fur ball. What’s a queen to do?
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Great post, Roxie. I didn’t get to watch the video of your friend in the tight space as when I tried it froze everything on my computer! It’s all okay – switched off and switched on again.
Love your room. Are you sure you and Zuzu can’t get along together? There is too much talk of building walls at the moment 🙂
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Dear Mary, I’m afraid I watch too much tv. The wall idea was probably ill-conceived now that I think of it. I’m sorry you couldn’t see Maru. He is the modern-day Houdini and I can’t get enough of his big, round face! I’ve spent much of today being nice to ZuZu. I’ll try to do better in the future. Your, contrite friend, Roxie
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Glad you’ve decided against the wall!
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The orange-faced man gets yelled at a lot around here, too! You’d think he’d get the hint!
So glad Roxie has her own space. Loved the warning signs and guards!
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Dinosaurs and dragons can’t even keep the ball of fur out.
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Very entertaining. Very well done Claremary.
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Thanks, Herb. I’ll tell Roxie the next time she decides to hold court. Take care and have a lovely week.
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Thanks ever so much Claremary. Cheers Roxie.
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Oh, Roxie, where do I begin? You are such an astute observer of kitty and human extremism. Unfortunately, Mom is getting in some language not appropriate for sensitive feline ears. Please tell her that if she needs some new vocabulary, I can assist her. I know several prime phrases and words in Yiddish.
Nobody can build a wall around me, though I am trying to figure out how to help my friends. I think you did a really great job of walling out ZuZu, but your wall should be built around the orange-faced man. Talk about feral tendencies – yeesh! ZuZu is a pussycat compared to him.
Maybe I shouldn’t have written that…you know…about the PUSSYcat…nothing is safe anymore. And that’s the really scary part. If you don’t need all that catnip, maybe I could have a sniff or two?
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We’ve been avoiding the word “pussy” around here for quite a while. “Malignant narcissist” comes up a lot and I have no idea what that means – but from the tone of “Her” voice, it can’t be good. You can get a lot from “the tone”. You should hear Her scream Roxie Dammit! I would be very interested in learning some Yiddish from you. Talking back in a foreign language could come in handy when I’m being yelled at. I’ll trade you catnip for tutoring. We have a whole garden filled with it.
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Ah, a universe in a dandelion.
My mother used to scream at me what I thought was the phrase, “You’re hocking me to China.”
She actually said, “Hock mir nit kayne tsheinik,” which means, “Don’t bang on the teakettle.” Translation – Don’t bother me. I may not have heard it correctly, but I heard it correctly – ask “Her” – she’ll understand. Usually, I ran.
Damn in YIddish is, “A broch!” with a gutteral sound at the end. Most effective with a fist pumping the air in front of you, very close to your nose.
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Roxie A Broch! It has such an exotic ring to it! I’ll make sure I do the fist pump and the guttural sound whenever I use it. Her majesty is upstairs right now driving Charley crazy, so I have a few minutes with the laptop all to myself. I’ve been working on another chapter for the 2nd book in the mystery series. Hmmmmm? Who shall I kill today?
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Dear Roxie D … I want to share an irksome problem. I am currently living in a huge appartement in Grenoble and really really enjoying myself. The thing is my mummy’s cousin and his wife have just invited themselves to stay and they want to bring …. their DOG! It’s all mummy’s fault … she showed off pictures of our place and now she can’t retract and say it’s too small. She is very stupid. Aren’t they all? But I ask you … they seem to think it is fine but why on earth should I share my space with some sappy canine Ive never met. Advice please. Your friend and admire – The Bean 🐾🐾
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Dearest Bean! NOOOOOOOOO! Do not let another animal into your space! They get in and then they never leave. Hire guards! Put up a fence! Howl in the background when Mummy is talking on the phone with her cousin. Mummy can tell them you are in constant pain from a strange ailment that is contagious to other animals. She should tie barnacles to your belly and cover your fur in green moss and send a photo to them warning of the grave danger that awaits should they cross your threshold. Practice growling and see how ferocious you can sound if they do show up at your door and keep some cream in the fridge. Cream oozing from your mouth can be a deterrent to visitors and it really tastes good, too. your Mummy is a very smart woman but obviously much too generous for your own good. Be relentless. Persevere! Your quality of life is in danger!
Your concerned friend Roxie D.
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My dear Roxie …. I have shown your note to mummy who laughed out loud til the tears streamed down her face. I gave her my most solemn stare and I think she has understood that this is a matter of the gravest concern. I don’t think they have barnacles here but I’m sure I can improvise with something slimy from one of the two rivers that flow through this place. The moss is a cinch and a great suggestion. As to growling …. my nemesis are white fluffy dogs ever since one insulted me and used very ripe French at my expense at the market in our village. Here there are quite a lot of things called Standard Poodles so I get plenty of growling practice – make no mistake, they are scared. Mummy says I am a liability whatever that means. I’ve added cream to her shopping list as a precaution. She didn’t seem to mind which is not surprising given the huge quantities of cream filled patisserie she has taken to gorging on. I will remain in touch but am confident your sage and swift reaction will keep things at bay. I remain your trusted and devoted admirer. The Bean 🐾🐾
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Roxie Did it ever dawn on you that maybe ZuZu can not read? Maybe you should try pictures instead?
After you resolve that problem you can enjoy a little music in your room all by yourself. Ok maybe mom to if you like.
If you ever find the funds for your wall which I’m sure will be big enough to broadcast your cat videos onto (I’m sure mom can set you up) you can watch videos from in the room and post your NO ZUZU pictures or signs on the other side but if you ever here this song played watch out the ending of it will devestate you and your wall so stop it before it gets that far.
Last I would like your advice for those of us out here in California this winter.
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Dennis – ZuZu just pretends to be dumb, she’s a lot smarter than she looks. Mom is pulling the laptop away from me so she can check out your links. She is so selfish!
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Dear Roxie, I believe you make this world brighter not only for your mom and dad, but for us! Thanks for sharing it with us! I recognized a beaming smile at my face…
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😼 😻
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Roxie, you have such a personality. 🙃 I enjoy your stories. Try and be nice to ZuZu.
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For you, I will try. But it is so difficult!
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😃
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Roxie your choice of cat video was hilarious! Your take on your mother’s behaviour even more so. Keep writing!
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Dear Robyn,
Mom is packing once again and I fear I am going to be left to babysit the little fur ball once again. My life is hell!
Your adorable and long-suffering friend, Roxie D.
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Your ARE adorable Roxie. Never forget it. If your are fur ball sitting it’s because you’re up to it. Grace under pressure. 😽
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😃 This post made me smile. Your Love for Zu Zu is simply great.
Shiva
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ZuZu and Roxie rule the roost and they hate it when we are not around because there are no laps to settle into. They make us smile every day.
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I can very well visualize it. They show their feelings through their Eyes, Eyebrows, Eyelids,Cheeks, Nose, Mouth, Tongue, Legs, …….and the amusing voice they create. They do express in all possible ways, only it is for us to understand. Once their language is understood we can be better humans and we shall start getting more Love. They are just family.
I have got four dogs which I got them on the streets when they were just Puppies. Before that I had Dalmatians, three of them. Oh those took mine and my wife’s real time, we loved and treated them for medical reasons, more than our kids.
They are the reasons for our smile at times as you said.
Thanks
Shiva
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Ah, another person who appreciates the beauty of animals. I am so happy that you saved those dogs. You are a good soul and will be well-rewarded. Roxie says “Hello.” Well, actually she said “Meow.”
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Meow Roxie! Shake hands please! I shall come again and meet you. Well which is your favorite food, when I come shall bring it,,OK!
Hope Roxie is hearing.😀
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Dear Friend, My favorite food is anything that is on people’s plates on the dining room table. I have been told I am an animal and therefore not allowed on the table and this makes me very sad.I never get enough food in my dish which is placed on the floor! This may be all right for ZuZu but is not acceptable for a cat of my stature. I’m sure you agree. Thank you for your understanding.Your friend, Roxie D.
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Oh that is too bad Roxie. I shall tell you whisperingly, do not tell anybody.
Among these human beings I have been brought up, they are very cunning people. They do not know how to behave and on top of that give all sorts of training to the animals.
Don’t be sad for keeping you away you already have Zu Zu with you to play.
Make scorching sound when you want more food. Just you give the necessary training, that all. The food shall be on your plate. Do not look for food on others plates , it is bad manners and you shall bring bad name to your community.
OK!
See you again.
Come let us all have a Big Laugh on this.
Roxie inform Zu Zu, whisper in her ears what I told you.🙀😾😹😻😽
Shiva
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😺
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Good to see that Roxie is settling into her room, despite the bad language she has to endure! But the Orange One is enough to make a saint swear, so I think it’s permissible. Interesting that PBS dubbed David Tennant as he has a Scottish accent, nothing like Dick van Dyke English! Maybe we should do that with some of the American shows we get here – NCIS dubbed by the cast of Eastenders would be quite something 😊
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Charley and I mostly watch PBS, so we have come to appreciate the many accents of the Brits and Scots. Now the Welsh! That is another kettle of fish! I guess the people in England did not appreciate his latest accusation. Now, why would you be wiretapping this buffoon? The English have much better things to occupy their days, me thinks. (Happy St. Paddy’s Day to you, Clive!)
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I rather like the Welsh accent, it has a gentle lilt to it. Some English and Scottish dialects can be quite harsh and guttural. He’s the comedy gift that keeps on giving, isn’t he. As if saying Obama tapped his wires wasn’t stupid enough, to accuse GCHQ of doing it was hilarious. I’m beginning to think it’s all a distraction tactic though – while we’re all laughing at rubbish like that what’s his administration doing behind the scenes? It scares me.
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He’s alienating all of our allies and more and more people in this country look upon him as a pariah. This can’t end well, Clive.
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I think they’ve let him set himself up to fail, probably be impeached, so that Pence can take over with an even more right-wing agenda. That photocall with Merkel, where he refused a handshake, was beyond stupid. Maybe he was afraid her hands would be bigger than his? He lies without shame, twists words to suit his selective memory, relies on unreliable tv stations for his ‘facts’ and we’re supposed to see him as a statesman? You’re right, the end will be messy. I just hope it’s quick.
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The Buffoon has a really difficult time with intelligent women and successful black men. He’s a very insecure buffoon and that makes him dangerous.
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Great post Roxie, be nice to ZuZu though she had a rough start in life.
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Dear Barbara, I really try being patient with her. But she is a trial! 😼
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Hi, Lucy,
I’m trying to get back to posting on my blog. I’ve had problems logging in and was shut out for a while. I think I’ve figured it out. Thanks for the shout out.
Love,Ethel
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You’re very welcome, my friend!
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