Happy Fall, everyone – especially my loyal fans and you know that means you, Melinda, President of the Roxie D. Fan Club. Since I’m stuck in the house, today, I figured I’d better let you all know I’m still alive and well. (As well as I can be without having a book written about me.)
To bring you up-to-date: Mom is launching her third (yes third) book in her mystery series next week and still nothing in the stores or on Amazon entitled “The Life and Times of Roxie Dammit”. She prefers vicariously killing off the local townspeople over writing what obviously would be a best-selling biography of ME. (Michelle Obama, step aside and make room for Roxie D., please!)
I’m beginning to think I’ll have to write it myself. As if I don’t have enough to do around this place. I babysit the little furball, add a decorative touch to the dinner table, entertain guests, and provide constant companionship for Dad and for “She Who Thinks She Owns The Place”. And that is just a small part of my day’s work.
Although you’ll seldom hear me complain, I’m highly under appreciated and have to live with this lack of gratitude for my presence every minute of my life. Oh, I almost forgot – I practically died last month.
I had to have a major operation on a growth over my eye. I spent weeks in the hospital (actually hours, but it felt like weeks) and then had to come home with a blue collar thingy around my neck. When I jumped out of the carry bag, ZuZu was waiting to welcome me. Her first words were, “Nice Halloween costume, Conehead!” Yup, she’s a piece of work! I spent two weeks choking to death and no one cared. I finally figured out how to get the contraption off, but it was the exact same day “She Who Must Be Obeyed” took me back to the vets to have it removed. Great timing, Mom!
So, today the weather is freezing. I know this because I stuck my wet nose outside and it turned to a cube of black ice. I hate that when it happens. I really miss summer because this year I finally got to spend time on the patio. I’m allowed to go outside now because I don’t run away any more and I stay right by the Warden’s side. She thinks she trained me by using treats, but I just figured out on my own that there is no escaping from that woman no matter how fast I run. She is a frisky old lady and her chubby legs move incredibly swiftly when the need arises. I’ve just given up. But every so often I move off the bricks on to the grass so she’ll throw some kitty nuggets my way. I’m no fool.
Speaking of fools – Mom’s little darling has a new attention-getting ploy. She runs around after a meal whining and catterwauling because I’m still at my dish eating. The useless fur ball is convinced “She Who Controls the Rations” is putting more in my bowl. If she didn’t act like a wet vac, she’d realize we get the same portion. I’m just not a savage. I chew my food instead of sucking it up. But why bother to reason with her? I say, “You can take the cat out of the barn but you can’t take the barn out of the cat.” I think this would make a great chapter in my book. It could be in the section on “Wisdom and Advice from a Smart Cat Who’s Seen It All”.
And, speaking of “seeing it all”, you know it’s the holiday season around here when the sightless angels have started to appear. And then the snowmen will show up and then the Santas and then the nutcrackers and the Christmas books and the little village houses. I’m not sure I can take another year of these frivolous tchotchkes strewn about everywhere leaving little space for my tired body to rest. I long for the summertime and the gazebo and the patio. I hear it’s spring in New Zealand and Australia. Lucky Yvette and Robyn! I’m going to your blogs now to look at the photos and pine for warmer weather. If only in my dreams!
Mom brought out the “Give Thinks” napkins this afternoon so I know it’s getting close to turkey day. I do love turkey, so that’s some consolation.
Wishing you all a Restful, Peaceful and Happy Thanksgiving.
Your friend, Roxie Dammit aka The Other Cat.